It Matters To Me
by PoisonedSkittles
Summary: Torrie is tired of Kurt being so distant. (One shot)


Title: It Matters To Me (1/1)  
Author: Kat!  
Disclaimer: Don't own them...wish I did. Oh the possibilities.  
Rating: PG or PG-13...not really sure.  
Content: Angst  
Characters: Torrie Gruner (Torrie Wilson) and Kurt Angle (same)  
Summary: Torrie is tired of Kurt being so distant (Yeah, generic, but you get my point)  
Warnings: Fic is unbetaed, so all mistakes are my own. Fic is Torrie's POV  
Spoilers: None I don't think

Lyrical inspiration: "It Matters To Me" by Faith Hill (Lyrics at the end) 

Why do you keep doing this to me? You wake up in the morning before I do then tuck the sheets up behind me so I think you're still there. I know I shouldn't, I mean I've fallen for it for several years now, but I still turn over and expect to feel your body there instead of the warmth where it used to be. I vaguely hear the shower running only a few minutes after you get up. You don't even wait for me anymore.

I get a kiss to my forehead like I'm your two year old daughter and you throw on whatever happened to be clean and grab your bag and you're out before I'm even fully awake. But why should I be upset, I get to see you at work...right?

You never leave me any hot water, so I usually have to take my showers at the arena. The coffee pot is empty and wet, so you probably had a cup and then rinsed it out. "It doesn't matter, I'm just being neat! I can't help it!" I can hear it now, so I don't even bother looking anymore.

As I pull out of the empty parking lot of the hotel, our song comes on the radio. I turn it, since we never sing it together anymore. We haven't ridden together in over a year. Now the station might as well be playing static because I'm not listening to the words.

At the arena it's like nothing ever changed between us. I'm your "sexy angel" again. You kiss me, you hug me, and I'm almost tricked into thinking it's all going to alright. It's all an act for the approval of the guys backstage. No one ever sees how much it hurts, because at the arena, I'm never given anything to cry over.

While the cameras are rolling, that familiar look slides into those once-beautiful blue eyes of yours. That distant look. You know, the one where you can be looking straight at me but I know that you're staring a hole through me, wishing I was anywhere but infront of you. The crowd doesn't know it, no one backstage knows it, but I feel it.

I've gotten to the point where I dread the end of the workday. You insist we're the last to leave, because you don't want someone to see us getting into separate cars. When we get back to the hotel, one small part of me hopes that you'll take me in your arms...and it'll be like it was when we first met.

Then I get on the elevator alone, that hope slowly dying as I realize you didn't wait for me again. Unlocking the door with my keycard, any remnants of that small sliver of hope fade away as I see you dead asleep on "your side of the bed."

I change, and I crawl into bed beside and silently cry myself to sleep again. I don't know how you do it, Kurt. I don't see how we can share the same room, same job, same bed and same last name and you can still act like I don't exist. There will be a day you understand, I promise, because it matters to me.

Faith Hill- It Matters To Me

Baby tell me where'd you ever learn

To fight without sayin' a word

Then waltz back into my life

Like it's all gonna be alright

Don't you know how much it hurts

When we don't talk

When we don't touch

When it doesn't feel like we're even in love

It matters to me

When I don't know what to say

Don't know what to do

Don't know if it really even matters to you

How can I make you see

It matters to me

Maybe I still don't understand

The distance between a woman and a man

So tell me how far it is

And how you can love like this

'cause I'm not sure I can

When we don't talk

When we don't touch

When it doesn't feel like we're even in love

It matters to me

When I don't know what to say

Don't know what to do

Don't know if it really even matters to you

How can I make you see

It matters to me


End file.
